Shari

I just received the phone call and knew. Shari left his body during the night. He did not suffer and died in my parent's arms. He is now in peace. What happens now? Is his spirit still at home and for how long? When we die, we leave our bodies but are still here for a while. How does it all work? Last night, before going to bed, I sent him Reiki...but with the time difference, he was already gone. This morning, I decided to send him energy to help him on his outer body journey, but it didn't work. He does not need the energy anymore. I wish I could know the stages...

Many years ago, I had a dream where the whole universe was explained to me. Life, death, what happens before and after...everything was just so clear, so simple. Yet, I woke up remembering I had this amazing dream, but forgot all the teachings!

I am surprised I am writing right now and not collapsing the way I did when my first dog died. Maybe I have grown, maybe I have gained in understanding...What worries me most right now, is my father. I don't think he has ever experienced any one's death. He wasn't there when our first dog died. He didn't witness what happens...My mother told me she had to take him to the doctor (my father) because he started bleeding from his nose. Unfortunately, he does not believe in a mind/body connection. For him, the body is like a mechanical machine. Strangely enough, after our first dog's death, he developed arrhythmia. Three weeks before retiring, the same day his colleagues gave him gifts and said good bye, he almost went into cardiac arrest. So, what now?

I cannot stop and cry for ever, and the only thing I can do is send reiki to my father. The energy will only go to him if he accepts it, otherwise, it will go to the earth, where it is needed. Even though my father doesn't believe in that stuff, his inner wisdom might still accept the energy...who knows?

I don't think I am realizing...maybe I'm still in denial. It will hit me when I go home in 2 months...thank God, I have my dog and my cat here with me. Actually, I got Bindu, my dog, 4 years ago, to prepare myself for Today. I am not alone, Bindu and Tinka, my cat, are still here.

Ok, now I need to cancel my next exam...there is no way I can focus on preparing for an exam on Saturday. And, by the way, I have the worst exam on Tuesday...How do I keep it together? Because of that program I wasn't able to go home to say goodbye to Shari!!! (anger: second stage of Kubler-Ross!)